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I. Adolph Oliver Bush


Truth in Dark Times

During the dark times in your life you will find out who is really there for you, who loves you and who doesn’t. You will find out who will go to bat for you, and who likes you for what you are, and not what you have. You will find out who you can trust and who you can’t trust. You will find out who talks trash and who will tell you the truth even though you may not like it.

Dark times put you in check and will allow you to see who is fake and who is real. This is good because you can identify those who you should not waste your energy on and not let them rent space in your head.

No matter how laid back and cool you are, there will always be someone who doesn’t like you for no reason, its life. We’re all ugly to someone, fake to someone, stuck-up to someone, ain’t shit to someone, a loser to someone, a bitch to someone but who cares.

Make your money, pay your bills, and take care of your family! Hating on me won’t stop my ATM card from working. Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring and don’t worry about what someone else thinks, if they don’t know you personally, don’t take it personal. Nobody can steal my joy, because they didn’t give it to me.

Life is like toilet paper, either you’re on a roll, or you’re taking shit from some asshole.

Semargl

My Spirit Animal Guide is the Simargl. The Simargl or Semargl is either a winged dog or a winged lion (usually a dog). It can be any breed of dog and any breed of lion. But most often he takes on a human shape. Abilities The Simargl can fly, and he is quick and agile. He can control all means of fire (as they are the gods of it) and he is strong and smart. Mythology; The Simargl is from East Slavic mythology, and is the God of physical fire (unlike Svarog who is God of celestial fire), and is depicted as a winged dog or lion. He is said to be the husband of Kupalnica (or Kupalnitsa), goddess of night, from whom he got two children: Kupalo and Kostroma. An idol of the Simargl was presented in the pantheon of Great Prince Vladmir of Kiev. There are images of Simargls on bracelets from the 12th or 13th century.

Pensamientos Profundos por Adolpho. 2016 / 05 / 18

BB


 

Ten funny things that happen to your body when you get old

 

Dirty Old BC

 


 

Because the internet may linger many, many years, there’s an excellent chance that as you are reading this, I will be busy decomposing somewhere in a shallow grave dug by Joe Alwyn. Needless to say, I hope that’s not the case, and I have made the following four-part plan to avoid it.

Step one: maintain a sensible diet, get plenty of rest and exercise, avoid stress.

Step two: use all my financial resources to purchase replacement body parts as soon as the originals begin to sputter.

Step three: continue to swap out organs until the arrival of the Singularity, whereupon I will discard my Bondo body and upload my psyche into the cloud.

Step four: become a mischievous cyber-ghost who zooms around the internet until technology allows me to download myself into a robot body with working genitals, tastebuds, 6 pack abs, x-ray vision and the ability to fly, live underwater and in outer space. At which point, having made myself essentially immortal and indestructible, I will spend eternity exploring the universe and playing with my titanium penis.

 


 

  1. Don’t lurk around web sites where people comment about your work unless you’re drunk.
  2. Don’t use emoticons. You’re too old to communicate like a twelve-year old girl.
  3. Don’t forget that you are living in a culture that went stark raving mad on November 8, 2016, adjust your thinking accordingly.
  4. Don’t eat anything bigger than your head. True in the sixties, true today.
  5. Don’t believe that crap that you’re as young as you feel. Your feelings lie.
  6. Don’t hug men while shaking their hand. Enough already with that. The shake/hug (shug?) is probably something Roman guys did when their empire was in decline.

 


 

I’m thinking of running for Chief of Police of Sturgis South Dakota. I have no qualifications but perhaps I could use that as an asset. (In a debate I could say that as far as law enforcement is concerned, I have an unblemished record.) And I could add levity to the proceedings. Maybe run on a platform that emphasizes the need for heavily armed robot cops. My campaign slogan would be, “Robots With Guns! What Could Go Wrong?”

RBGI’m also mulling the Supreme Court seat soon to be opened. Again, I think my complete lack of experience is a selling point. I’m also a big fan of incompetent government, as the overly organized ones tend to put people like me on trains to Poland. For this appointment I’m thinking I need a mindset that alienates no one. Something along the lines of, “Send me to The Supreme Court and watch what happens!”

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibilty

Bank notes can have similarities to books we put on our shelves to show off but have never really closely examined — let alone read. Millions of copies, tucked away in people’s homes, gradually changing from their “just purchased” clean look to a more yellowed afterlife.

But sometimes, after months or years, someone finally takes a closer look.

In the case of Australia’s new 50-dollar note, released in October, that happened more than six months later. By that point, 46 million notes had been circulated — passed around by Australians who had no idea that what they were really holding in their hands was a note with typos, or as some (half-)jokingly said: a national embarrassment.

Overall, erroneous bank notes worth 2.3 billion Australian dollars, or 1.6 billion U.S. dollars, are now in circulation.

Granted, the mistakes weren’t easy to spot.

All a careless recipient would have noticed would have been, at best, the drawing of Edith Cowan. In 1921, she became Australia’s first female member of Parliament, for which she has been honored on Australian bank notes since 1995.

The 50 Australian dollar note was printed with the word “responsibility” misspelled. 

Her steady presence on Australia’s most frequently distributed note, the 50 (worth about $35 in U.S. currency), hid a more worrisome change in the fine print, however.

To spot it, you would have needed either very good eyes or magnifying glasses.

A close-up view of a current circulation 50 Australian dollar note shows the word “responsibility” spelled incorrectly. Still no idea what we’re talking about?

Okay, let’s zoom in a bit more. (Hint: It’s the second line.)

Yes, that’s correct. The word we’re looking for is “responsibility,” or, as the storied Reserve Bank of Australia has it: “responsibilty.” The mistake is repeated twice on the same bank note.

The words are part of Cowan’s inaugural speech in July 1921, in which she said: “It is a great responsibility to be the only woman here, and I want to emphasise the necessity which exists for other women being here.” (“Emphasise” doesn’t count as a typo; it’s the widely used British spelling of “emphasize,” the U.S. version of the word.)

Compared with other mistakes, the typos are almost certain to secure Australia a spot in the hall of fame of currency blunders that reach back far in history.

When the Bank of Canada started printing bank notes bearing the likeness of Queen Elizabeth II about seven decades ago, for instance, the institution received numerous complaints from readers who thought they had spotted a devil in her hair. In subsequent editions, the queen’s hair was reworked to look less like a portrait from hell.

The queen also caused a currency dispute in Australia once. Amid a debate about the monarchy’s official status and influence in Australia, the government made a U-turn in the 1960s, after proposing to rename the Australian dollar “the royal.” Previous ideas that were skipped reportedly included “the dinkum” and “the boomer.”

While Australia averted disaster, the Philippines faced irreversible embarrassment in 2005, when it was realized that new bank notes misspelled the name of then-President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.

On the notes, her last name was spelled “Arrovo.”

The notes, authorities said at the time, were still valid, and, in fact, collectors coveted them.

That is less likely in the case of Australia’s erroneous 50-dollar bills, given that there are more notes in circulation than the country of almost 25 million has citizens. Its central bank has announced that the misspelled notes already in circulation will eventually be replaced — even though that might take some time.

How to Fund the Border Wall

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Remittances hit a new record high of $33 billion in 2018.

Increase attributed to US President Trump’s stance on illegal immigration and a strong economy

The fear of deportation fed by United States President Donald Trump’s hardline rhetoric on immigration and a strong U.S. labor market and economy drove remittances from Mexicans outside the country to an all-time high in 2018.

Mexicans working abroad, mainly in the United States, sent US $33.48 billion to Mexico last year, an increase of 10.5% over the 2017 figure, according to the Bank of México (Banxico).

The remittances were sent in 103.9 million separate transactions, a 6% increase on the 2017 figure, and each one was on average $322 compared to $309 the year before, Banxico data shows.

Almost 98% of remittances were sent by electronic means and just over 94% came from the United States.

The total dollar amount sent to Mexico made remittances the country’s second largest foreign currency earner after auto exports, which totaled around $142 billion.

Just seven states received half of all remittances sent.

Michoacán took in just under $3.4 billion followed by Jalisco, with almost $3.3 billion; Guanajuato, with just over $3 billion; México state, with $1.9 billion; Oaxaca, with $1.7 billion; Puebla, with $1.7 billion; and Guerrero, with $1.6 billion.

Financial analysts say that Trump’s tough stance on illegal immigration has encouraged Mexicans in the United States to send more money home.

The Mexican government estimates that around 12 million Mexicans live in the United States and about half that number are there illegally.

Analysts at the Mexican bank Banorte say they expect the flow of remittances from the United States to remain strong in 2019 because the fundamentals of the U.S. economy are strong.

Migrants from Latin America and the Caribbean are sending more money to their families back home than ever before.

These annual “remittances” — as they’re called by analysts — topped $69 billion in 2016, according to central bank data compiled in a new report by the Inter-American Dialogue, a Washington, D.C.-based think-tank. The money has been a lifeline for the national economies of many countries in the region since at least the 1990s, when Manuel Orozco, a political scientist who authored the report, first began tracking remittances. They climbed steadily since then, only to plummet when the Great Recession hit the U.S. economy in 2008. But they began to rise again in 2012. The 2016 tally is the highest amount on record and an increase of nearly 8 percent over 2015.

About 40 percent of the money goes to just one country — Mexico — practically all of it sent by migrants in the United States. The recent surge is all the more notable because migration from Mexico has slowed to a crawl — with the number of migrants in the U.S. increasing by just 1 percent between 2010 and 2016 to a total of 11.8 million. Also, says Orozco, the median amount that any given Mexican migrant sends hasn’t changed — about $300 at a go, 14 times a year, most commonly through a money transfer company such as Western Union.

So what accounts for this surge in cash to Mexico? Orozco explains that a much larger share of Mexicans already in the United States are now wiring money back. In 2010 fewer than half of Mexican migrants sent money home. Today two-thirds do.

Orozco can’t be sure why. Though he regularly does large-scale surveys of Mexican migrants, “I haven’t asked that question,” he notes.

A possible explanation, he says, is that many Mexican migrants who would have gone back to Mexico are now staying put in the United States. His survey research indicates that from 2011 to 2016, the median length of time a Mexican migrant has lived in the United States increased from seven years to 12. Some migrants are deterred by rising violence back in their hometowns, says Orozco.

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HatTipcanstockphoto53073149           

HatTipcanstockphoto53073149         

Am Eye See, Kay He Why, Am Oh You As He

never-slow-down-never-grow-old

Just Checking

MMDonald Duck!

President Trump is walking out of the White House when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun.

A new secret service agent shouts, “Mickey Mouse!” This startles the would be assassin and he is captured.

Later, the secret service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks, “What in the world made you shout Mickey Mouse?”

The agent replied, “I got nervous. I meant to shout Donald…. duck!

 

Undress Me With Your Words

HatTipcanstockphoto53073149  CHIEF NOSE WETTER


 


 

Great Sex Quotes

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly
in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL-500.”
Lynn Lavner

“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”
George Burns

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.”
Sharon Stone

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for
white men dressed like black pimps.”
Tiger Woods

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
Jack Nicholson

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets
oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”
Robert DeNilo

“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”
Dustin Hoffman

“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, ‘I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked!”
Jerry Seinfeld

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and only enough blood
to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams

“It’s been so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.”
Joan Rivers

“Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.”
Steve Martin

“You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.”
Elmo Phillips

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
Oscar Wilde


Selling Bibles

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles.
But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Peter, “Well, Peter, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?”

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, “Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here’s the $200 I collected on behalf of the church.”

“Fine job, Peter!” The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. “You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you.”

Turning to Paul, “And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church last week?”

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, “I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here’s $280 I collected.”

The minister responded, “That’s absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you.”

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, “And Louie, did you manage to sell
any bibles last week?”

Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The reverend opened it and counted the contents.

“What is this?” the minister exclaimed. “Louie, there’s $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?”

Louie just nodded.

“That’s impossible!” both Peter and Paul said in unison. “We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could.”

“Yes, this does seem unlikely,” the minister agreed. “I think you’d better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie.”

Louie shrugged. “I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don’t kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh -sh-sh-sure,” he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. “For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!”

“A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was,” Louis replied, “W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks — o-o-o-or — wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?”


I am a Father

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father” The little boy replied, “My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that”. The priest looked up from his book and answered, “I am the Father of many”. The boy said, “My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two Grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way”. The priest, getting impatient, said, “I am the Father of hundreds” and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, “Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar”.


 

 


 

 


 


 

 

 

 

¿Dragons Fucking?

Crestfallen ‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Starting To Realize Series Never Going To Show Dragons Fucking

BOSTON—Expressing deep disappointment as their beloved series begins to come to a long-awaited conclusion, crestfallen Game Of Thrones fans reported Monday their realization that the show is never going to show dragons fucking. “I’ve put hundreds of hours of my life into this series, and now it seems it’s all been a waste,” said self-described Song Of Ice And Fire “superfan” Aaron Tremaine, 31, recounting how his initial excitement at the beginning of each new season shifted to sadness after being repeatedly deprived of steamy dragon-on-dragon sex. “Of course, I didn’t expect it to happen in the very first scene of the pilot, but I figured it had to happen eventually. They spent so many episodes building up the whole ‘will-they-won’t-they’ tension with Drogon and Rhaegal, and now it seems like it’s never going to pay off. It’s devastating, especially as I’m told it’s such a big part of the books.” Tremaine, like many fans of the show, remains optimistic that the final episodes may include some dragon oral sex or “at least some claw stuff.”

HatTipcanstockphoto53073149     The-Onion-581247455f9b58564cb87f03

 

Cackling Julian Assange Disintegrates Into Lines Of Code As Baffled Authorities Attempt To Handcuff Him

LONDON—Quickly contorting his hands to type into a faint keyboard embedded in his wrist, a cackling Julian Assange reportedly disintegrated into lines of computer code Thursday as baffled authorities attempted to handcuff him. “You fools, I have become more powerful than you can possibly know—the truth cannot be contained,” said Assange, the handcuffs falling through the evaporating lines of ones and zeros and clattering on the ground as the code split and flowed into nearby electronic devices, stunning British law enforcement who watched the WikiLeaks co-founder’s face suddenly appear on every screen to taunt them. “I am one with the digisphere, the world’s governments can never control me now. I have left your simple world behind and become something greater. No prison will ever hold me. Information will remain free forever!” At press time, the Trump administration demanded that cyberspace officials immediately extradite Julian Assange.


 

President Donald Trump, who declared “I love WikiLeaks” during the 2016 presidential campaign, refused Thursday to comment on the arrest of the website’s founder Julian Assange in London.

“I know nothing about WikiLeaks,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office. “It’s not my thing.”

Trump said he didn’t know anything about Assange’s arrest and said what happens next is up to the attorney general.

“I know nothing really about it — it’s not my deal in life,” he said.

Trump repeatedly praised WikiLeaks during the 2016 campaign for releasing documents stolen from the Democratic Party as part of a Russian effort to influence the election on Trump’s behalf.

 

Authorities in London arrested Assange on Thursday after Ecuador’s government expelled the WikiLeaks founder from its British embassy where he had been living for seven years.

The United Kingdom plans to extradite Assange to the United States, which on Thursday released an indictment accusing him of conspiring with ex-Army intelligence analyst Chelsea Manning to publish classified documents on U.S. activity in Iraq, Afghanistan, and other countries.