25 Things I Trust More Than Hillary Clinton

  1. Ebola.
  2. The IRS.
  3. A 1989 Yugo.
  4. Mainstream Media.
  5. A Styrofoam Gas Can.
  6. Nuclear Hand Grenades.
  7. Obama’s Birth Certificate.
  8. Convenience Store Sushi.
  9. A Condom Made in China.
  10. Flint Michigan Tap Water.
  11. A Nightcap With Bill Cosby.
  12. Kool Aid at a Jim Jones Party.
  13. A Ferengi Used Car Salesman.
  14. Emails From a Nigerian Prince.
  15. A Test Fart in Bed With Diarrhea.
  16. A Rattlesnake With a Pet Me Sign.
  17. Steve Harvey Announcing Miss Universe.
  18. A Blind Date With a Woman Named Caitlyn.
  19. OJ Simpson Showing Me His Knife Collection.
  20. A Government agent saying “I’m here to help you.”
  21. The Guy Who Installs Turn Signals at the BMW Plant.
  22. Playing Russian Roulette With a Semi-Automatic Pistol.
  23. A Palestinian in Israel with a Backpack on a Motorcycle.
  24. A Small Unidentifiable Speed Boat Coming Toward Me Off the Coast of Somalia.
  25. A Mechanic Who Tells Me That My Blinker Fluid is Low and I Need a New Muffler Bearing.


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