Iowa Dawg Is In the Hospital
Who in the hell is Iowa Dawg? Well let me tell ya….
Iowa Dawg is the accountant guy who gets home late one night and Linda, his wife says, where the hell have you been?
Iowa Dawg replies: I was out getting a tattoo!
A tattoo?’ she frowned. What kind of tattoo did you get?
I got a hundred dollar bill on my dick, he said proudly.
What the hell were you thinking? She said, shaking her head in disgust. Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his dick?
Well, One, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.
Iowa Dawg is in the Hospital, room 404
Iowa Dawg got up and was putting on his coat
His wife said, “Where are you going?”
He said, “I’m going to the doctor.”
And she said, “Why? Are you sick?”
“No,” he said. “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.”
So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater.
He said, “Where are you going?”
She said, “I’m going to the doctor too.”
He said, “Why?”
She said, “If you’re going to start using that rusty old thing again, I’m going to get a tetanus shot.”
The nurse at the sperm bank asked Iowa Dawg if he would like to masturbate in the cup. He said, “Well, I’m pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet.
A professor at Drake University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”
About 90 students raise their hands.
“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?”
About 40 students raise their hands.
“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”
About 15 students raise their hand.
“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”
Three students raise their hands.
“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever had sex with a ghost?”
Way in the back, Iowa Dawg raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says, “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have sex with a ghost You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”
Iowa Dawg replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, Dawg, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”
I got this email yesterday…
The last time you visited a porn website, I downloaded and installed the software I developed.
My program has turned on your camera and recorded the process of your masturbation.
My software has also grabbed all your email contact lists and a list of your friends on Facebook.
I have the – Iadolpholiverbush.mp4 – with you jerking off to porn as well as a file with all your contacts on my computer. You are very perverted!
If you want me to delete both the files and keep the secret, you must send me Bitcoin payment. I give you 72 hours for the payment.
If you don’t know how to pay with Bitcoin, visit Google and search. Send $2000 USD to this Bitcoin address as soon as possible:
buncha000fuckin’123bullshit000numbers789and000letters (←copy and paste)
1 United States Dollar = 0.00025 Bitcoin to the address provided above so send exactly 0.50 Bitcoin
Do not try to cheat me! As soon as you open this Email I will know you opened it. I am tracking all actions on your device.
This Bitcoin address is linked to you only, so I will know when you send the correct amount. When you pay in full, I will remove both files and deactivate my program.
If you don’t send the payment, I will send your masturbation video to ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES from your contact lists I hacked.
Here are the payment details again: Send 0.00025 BTC to this Bitcoin address:
You саn visit police but nobody can help you. I know what I am doing. I don’t live in your state and I know how to stay anonymous.
Don’t try to deceive me – I will know it immediately – my spy software is recording all the websites you visit and all keys you press. If you do – I will send this ugly recording to everyone you know, including your family.
Don’t cheat me! Don’t forget the shame and if you ignore this message your life will be ruined.
I am waiting for your Bitcoin payment. You have 72 hours left.