My girlfriend told me she was seeing a psychiatrist.
I said tell me more.
She said I’m also seeing a plumber, a carpenter, an electrician, two doctors, three lawyers, and a used car salesman.
Man: “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”
Cop: “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?
Man: “My wife
What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? Arriba McEntire
What’s better than a cold Bud? A warm bush.
What do you call a white girl without boobs?
Sunday Terminology: Amen – The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
Holy water – A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
Incense – Holy Smoke !
Jonah – The original “Jaws” story
Magi – The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
Pew – A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
Ten Commandments – The most important top ten list not given by David Letterman.
Jesuits – An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.
Sex on the beach – Shoregasm
Sex in a gold mine – Oregasm
Sex on a golf course – Foregasm
Sex with a lion – Roargasm
Sex while sleeping – Snoregasm
Sex with a prostitute – Whoregasm
Sex at the supermarket – Storegasm
Sex with a Norse God – Thorgasm
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one
Michael J. Fox has a short one………
Madonna doesn’t have one………
The Pope doesn’t use his……………..
Justin Bieber always uses his…………….
What is it?
A last name. Shame on all you perverts for thinking something else.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex? : A micro trans-action.