Christmas: A Celebration of the Birth of Commercialism…

Oh yea, and Jesus.


 

Santa Claus explained by Albert Einstein

There are 7.8 billion people on Earth. Probably about six per family on average, so there are one billion homes. Some of these homes are city apartments twenty feet apart, but the people in igloos or jungle huts or desert tents are more widely spaced, so let’s assume the homes are about a mile apart on average.

Santa has one night to visit them all, we’ll say twenty-four hours because it’s not night everywhere on Earth at the same time. So, he has to fly one billion miles in twenty-four hours.”

He wrote “SANTA = 41,666,667 MILES/HOUR” on his blackboard.

“At that speed, friction with the atmosphere will generate intense thermal energy, and twenty-four hours of that will release enough heat to melt the Earth’s crust.

And the billion takeoffs and landings will cause two billion sonic booms. By December 26, the Earth will be reduced to an endless sea of molten lava and loud noises.”

This is how it will all end? How dare you! 


 

rudolph



 

Alone for Xmas


 

fuckit

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