I have taken one foreskin tablet day for a year and now women recoil in fear when they see what erupts from my trousers!
Heaven has strict immigration policies.
Hell has open borders.
A lady reaches her 40s and is still a maiden since she never met anyone special enough to want to give up her virginity. She decided she didn’t want to die an old maid but also wanted whoever was to be the first to also be a virgin. She knew it would be a difficult task to find a man her age who was still a virgin and her choices may be limited so she decided her best chance was to run classified ads all around the world.
Finally, she receives a response from a man in the deep Outback of Australia. After trading several messages she feels he is telling the truth and arranges to fly him in. They go out on a nice date but during the meal she has second thoughts. How could such a strong, handsome man still be a virgin? But still, she is attracted to him and decides to see where things lead.
Later they went to her apartment for a few drinks. She asked again “Are you sure you have never had a woman?” He said “Ma’am, I swear. I lived my entire life deep in the Outback far from civilization. The nearest ladies were in the town over 250 miles away. So the first time I ever even saw a woman, besides my mother, was when I went there yesterday to get on the plane.”
Satisfied he was being sincere and becoming aroused with thoughts of what was about to finally happen, she decided it was time. She told him that he should go to the bedroom to get ready while she stepped into the bathroom to do the same. As she came back out of the bathroom she saw he had moved the dresser, nightstand and headboard out of the room and was pushing the mattress out into the hall as well.
“What are you doing?” she asked. He replied “Ma’am, I told you I never had a lady before but if it’s anything like a kangaroo, we’re going to need all the room we can get!”…