Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton made a joint visit to a bakery while campaigning. While in the bakery, Hillary sneaks three pastries in her pocket, and whispers to Trump, “See how clever I am? The owner didn’t see anything, and I didn’t need to lie. That’s why I’m going to win the election.”
Trump says to Hillary, “That’s so typical of you: trickery, deceit and theft. Now I’m going to show you how to get the same results honestly.” Trump says to the bakery owner, “Give me three pastries and I’ll show you a magic trick.”
The baker gives Trump three pastries and he eats one after the other. The baker was wonder what the magic trick is and asked Trump, “So? Where did they go?”
Trump says, “Look in Hillary’s pocket.”
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2018 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany …
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S8® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”
“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”
“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.
“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know nothing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.”
“Now give me back my dog.”
Chelsea Clinton Is the Biological Daughter Of Webb Hubbell
For years, the Clintons have gone to great lengths to pretend to be something they are not: a family. To this day, Bill often refers to Hillary as his “wife”, despite the fact he has been kicked out of her house a long time ago. And Hillary refers to Bill as her “husband”, despite the fact that Hillary knew Bill was sexually unhinged from the day she “married” Bill on Oct. 11, 1975.
By GORDON ATHELTESFOOT
A parody about the treachery of the Clintons throughout the years and their ultimate political demise at the hands of Donald Trump. Sung to the tune of “The Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald”.
He will show you this picture…
Once upon a time there was this man who found a super special vagina seed. He planted this seed and twenty years later he was growing an orchard of the nicest pussy trees in the land. People would come from far and wide to see such a magnificent sight. He had many years of peace and prosperity. Every year the man got a little older, until one day he decided that he could no longer take care of his orchard. He finally decided to let his daughter take over the beautiful vagina orchard. The man gave her only one condition ” Never use this beautiful orchard for greed. It is for people to enjoy”.
The next day the old man died and the daughter took over the orchard. It was not long before she started to see the money to be made at the orchard. She brought in a group of specialists to tell her how to get the best bang for her buck. She put in a parking garage, a restaurant, and a vagina gift shop. So much money was coming in, She was soon the richest woman in the land, but something started to happen to the pretty trees. The trees started to shrivel and the vaginas started to stink. Slowly but surely the pussys turned into turds. People no longer wanted to come to the orchard just to see a mound of smelly shit dripping off the trees. Finally the daughter went bankrupt and had to sell her father’s once beautiful orchard.
Which brings me to the moral of the story;
If you let a greedy cunt run your cunt tree, your cunt tree is going to turn to shit.
Are you kidding me, California? Actually, no—the politics in this left wing cesspool are so insufferable that this really shouldn’t shock us.