Category: Politics

Fundraiser for Hillary R. Clinton

I have the distinguished honor of being a member of the Committee to raise $50,000,000 for a monument to Hillary R. Clinton.

We originally wanted to put her on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for her two faces.

We then decided to erect a statue of Hillary in the Washington, D.C. Hall of Fame.

We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed.

It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Barack Hussein Obama, who never told the truth, since Hillary could never tell the difference.

We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, and when he got there he did not know where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else’s money.

Thank you,

Hillary R. Clinton Monument Committee

A Democrat Walks Into a Bar

next door to the factory where he works and is about to order a drink, when he sees a guy close by wearing a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat, with a beer in front of him.

The Democrat does not have to be an Einstein, to know that this guy, is a Republican.

So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear him clearly, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender,
but not for the Republican.”

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him then says, “Thank you!” in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the Democrat.

The union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The Democrat once again, loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican.

As before, this STILL doesn’t seem to bother the Republican who continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The Democrat boss asks the bartender, “What the devil is the matter, with that Republican? I have ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly ass does, is smile and thanks me. Is he nuts or what!?”

“Nope,” replies the bartender. “He owns the place.”

Weekend Homework Assignment

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited.
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, and then give a talk on salesmanship.

Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies & Imade $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”

“Very good,” said the teacher.

Little Debbie was next. “I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”

“Very good, Debbie,” said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom & dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk.

“$2,467,” he said

“$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”

“Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny.

“Toothbrushes!” echoed the teacher, “How you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”

“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand & I gave everybody who walked by a free sample.”

They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog crap!”

Then I would say, “It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush? I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it’s free and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth.”

bite a democrat

Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment.

The Hillary stamp.

The United States Postal Service just had to recall a stamp they created with a photo of former Democrat presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. It was to honor her time as First Lady and her service to America.

Hillary and Bill Clinton demanded a full investigation into the allegations.

After a multi-million dollar Postal Service investigation team spent months looking into the problem, they discovered this:

* The stamp was manufactured correctly.
* The adhesive works normally.
* People were just spitting on the wrong side!

hcs

Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder

Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder was directly caused by the election of Donald Trump as President of the United States of America.

Signs and Symptoms:

Trump, Acceptance, Resistance, Disorder, or T.A.R.D. is a pattern of pathologically dissociative and psychotic behavior, first observed in the late hours of November eighth, 2016, and increasing in severity with passing time. Sufferers of Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder, often exhibit pronounced cognitive dissonance, uncontrollable crying, suicidal ideation, and sorrow.

Characterized by a persistent unwillingness to accept that Donald Trump is going to Make America Great Again. Individual sufferers often display signs of paranoia and delusion; in acute cases psychotic episodes have been observed. T.A.R.D. is different from being upset about the results of the 2016 presidential election.

Symptoms: Telling others they are moving to Canada, Fixated on fantasies about the Electoral College, Protesting an election no credible source contests the outcome of, Exclamations that “Someone” should do “Something”, Acute change in demeanor from pompous and arrogant to fearful and combative

Causes and Mechanisms: Membership in the Democratic Party, Identifying as a Feminist Currently enrolled in college, and/or Possession of a Liberal Arts college degree, Living in a densely populated metropolitan area, Massive student debt, Spotty or non-existent work history and Hipsterism

Treatment:

Recommended treatment, group rehabilitation therapy and behavioral therapy and exposure therapy. The patient must be repeatedly exposed to reality, and should wear a Make America Great Again hat as long as they are able to tolerate it.

If the condition occurs more than once a week, it is called Recurring Emotional Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder or R.E.T.A.R.D. Symptoms include disorientation, withdrawal and isolation. Recommended treatment individual therapy and antidepressants, particularly the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)

If it becomes chronic it’s called Recurring Emotional Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder Syndrome or R.E.T.A.R.D.S. Symptom include acute anxiety, sudden outburst of rage accompanied by violence, paranoid schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Recommended treatment, immediate hospitalization in a suitable secure facility, intensive one on one therapy, Thorazine, Risperdal or other suitable antipsychotic medications.

A Politician’s Eternity.

When a politician dies Instead of going straight to heaven or hell, a spirit appears to him.

The spirit tells him that, rather than being judged for his sins, he gets to choose whether he goes to heaven or hell.

The politician replies that of course he wants to go to heaven. The spirit tells him that before he chooses, he has to visit both places so each one will get a fair chance.

First they visit heaven. It looks pretty nice. Big fluffy clouds, angels singing and playing harps, everyone seeming to enjoy themselves. The politician is pleased, if a bit underwhelmed.

Hell, on the other hand, is magnificent. It’s the most beautiful place the politician has ever seen, and everyone there is having the time of their lives. It has a buffet table filled with delicious-smelling food, a beautiful garden, a pool with a water slide, a dance floor, a massage parlor, and innumerable other attractions. It makes heaven look dull and boring and comparison.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” says the politician, “but I think I’d rather go to hell!”

“Very well,” says the spirit. “Turn around.”

When the politician turns around, though, hell appears to be completely different than it had been less than a minute ago. All of the attractions are gone, everything is on fire, and the people are screaming in agony.

“I don’t understand!” cries the politician. “This isn’t what you showed me before!”

“Well, that was the campaign,” replies the spirit. “Now you’ve voted.”

The Medical Community is Unable to Reach Consensus on How to Replace Obamacare.

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologist’s had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!” The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow. The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter. “The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

Question for SJW BLM & Antifa

irishslaves

Before the transatlantic slave trade there was the Barbary slave trade. Where Arabs enslaved many European whites and it was much more brutal than the transatlantic slave trade. It’s almost a joke how msm, black lives matter, Antifa, feminists all pander to the most extreme side of Islam. And if they let them have their way they would kill them Or they would lose their rights becoming slaves!

Now that I have stopped watching tv it’s really easy to see how msn radicalize the alt left or right for that matter. When will the people wake up to their lies.!!!!
It’s called programming for a reason

Question for sjw or black lives matter or Antifa now that the statues are down how has your life improved. I got time……

HatTipcanstockphoto53073149 Chief Nose Wetter