Mosques in America

I am truly perplexed that so many Americans are against another mosque being built in the United States. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, “The Turban Cowboy,” and the other a nude bar called “You Mecca Me Hot.”

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq of Ribs.” Across the street there could be a lingerie store called “Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret,” with sexy mannequins in the window modelling the goods.

Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, “Koranal Knowledge,” its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called “Morehammered.” All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque issue would not be a problem for others.”

Yes, we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on and if you are not laughing or smiling at this point… It is either past your bedtime, or its midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed!!!!

A Montana Cowboy

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2018 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany …

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S8® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know nothing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.”

“Now give me back my dog.”

Net Neutrality My Ass!

On December 14, a five member panel of unelected bureaucrats called the FCC voted 3 to 2 to seize control of the internet for the Federal government, without so much as a “by your leave” to the Congress. It’s not like your Congressman or Senator did this, these were three UNELECTED political appointees, all DEMOCRATS, which I think is worthy of mention, and they just decided that they have the power to regulate what you say and what you view on the internet, without asking you what YOU think about that. They came up with a big fat Rule Book For The Internet that they would not show to the public before the vote, and now that they have deemed they have the authority to do this and voted to institute their new Rule Book For The Internet, they STILL won’t show the public their new Rule Book For The Internet.
 
How is that not a Big Fucking Deal for you? THREE PEOPLE you never heard of and certainly never voted for just took over control of the internet for the government, and they are not showing the public what the new rules will be. Does that mean websites will have to get a government “license”, like radio stations? And will they have a list of bad things they can’t say, or they will be fined and maybe even LOSE their license? Nobody knows, because they will not show the public the rules they are creating.
 
What if you call some dude in your facebook page a faggot, and you get a $25 ticket, deducted from your debit card or your ApplePay or your Paypal or your Netflix account? Will you need a “user’s permit”, or a government assigned ID that tracks your every website and keystroke, because terrorism, or something…? Can they suspend your access if you are deemed to be an insensitive homophobe or racist, or even BAN you from the internet? Nobody knows, because they will not show the public the rules they are creating.
 
And the attitude of most Americans “Whatever… as long as my NetFlix is streamin’ good, and I can play Call of Duty without any lag, I’m chill…”[1]
 
Top 10 Countries that control internet access.
 
1. North Korea. All websites are under government control. About 4% of the population has Internet.
 
2. Burma. Authorities filter emails and block access to sites of groups that expose human rights violations or disagree with the government.
 
3. Cuba. Internet available only at government controlled “access points.” Activity online is monitored through IP blocking, keyword filtering and browsing history checking. Only pro-government users may upload content.
 
4. Saudi Arabia. Around 400,000 sites have been blocked, including any that discuss political, social or religious topics incompatible with the Islamic beliefs of the monarchy.
 
5. Iran. Bloggers must register at the Ministry of Art and Culture. Those that express opposition to the mullahs who run the country are harassed and jailed.
 
7. Syria. Bloggers who “jeopardize national unity” are arrested. Cybercafes must ask all customers for identification, record time of use and report the information to authorities.
 
8. Tunisia. Tunisian Internet service providers must report to the government the IP addresses and personal information of all bloggers. All traffic goes through a central network. The government filters all content uploaded and monitors emails.
 
9. Vietnam. The Communist Party requires Yahoo, Google and Microsoft to divulge data on all bloggers who use their platforms. It blocks websites critical of the government, as well as those that advocate for democracy, human rights and religious freedom.
 
10. Turkmenistan. The only Internet service provider is the government. It blocks access to many sites and monitors all email accounts in Gmail, Yahoo and Hotmail.[2]
 
[1]Taxicab Depressions, [2]USA Today

What would happen to fast food if you had to have it the FCC’s way.

Burger King pokes fun at net neutrality issue.

 Burger King is delivering its own hot take on a regulatory showdown that has enflamed the U.S., using a flame-grilled Whopper.

Burger King’s new ad has become a sensation, with more than a million views on YouTube and it’s lighting up Twitter .

In the ad, customers whom the restaurant says are real, are told they will be charged different prices for a Whopper, based on speed. Prices range from $5, to $26.

And the customers grow increasingly furious in an art-imitating-life display that mocks new internet rules that have led to wide-scale protests, even death threats.

There’s even a jab at Ajit Pai, who heads the federal commission that voted late last year to eliminate net-neutrality protections for the internet (hint: look for the colossal Reese’s coffee mug).