Donald Trumps Magic Trick

Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton made a joint visit to a bakery while campaigning. While in the bakery, Hillary sneaks three pastries in her pocket, and whispers to Trump, “See how clever I am? The owner didn’t see anything, and I didn’t need to lie. That’s why I’m going to win the election.”

Trump says to Hillary, “That’s so typical of you: trickery, deceit and theft. Now I’m going to show you how to get the same results honestly.” Trump says to the bakery owner, “Give me three pastries and I’ll show you a magic trick.”

The baker gives Trump three pastries and he eats one after the other. The baker was wonder what the magic trick is and asked Trump, “So? Where did they go?”

Trump says, “Look in Hillary’s pocket.”

A Montana Cowboy

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2018 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany …

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S8® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know nothing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.”

“Now give me back my dog.”

Desmond Dekker & the Aces

Israelites – 1968 – Vintage Reggae

Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir
So that every mouth can be fed
Poor me Israelites, ah
Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir
So that every mouth can be fed
Poor me Israelite
My wife and my kids, they packed up and leave me
Darling, she said, I was yours to be seen
Poor me Israelites
Shirt them a-tear up, trousers is gone
I don’t want to end up like Bonnie and Clyde
Poor me Israelites
After a storm there must be a calm
They catch me in the farm
You sound your alarm
Poor me Israelites
I said I get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir
So that every mouth can be fed
Poor me Israelites
I said my wife and my kids, they are packed up and leave me
Darling, she said, I was yours to be seen
Poor me Israelites
Look me shirts them a-tear up, trousers are gone
I don’t want to end up like Bonnie and Clyde
Poor me Israelites
After a storm there must be a calm
They catch me in the farm
You sound your alarm
Poor me Israelites
Poor me Israelites, poor me Israelites, poor me Israelites

The Clintons’ Greatest Shame

Chelsea Clinton Is the Biological Daughter Of Webb Hubbell

For years, the Clintons have gone to great lengths to pretend to be something they are not: a family. To this day, Bill often refers to Hillary as his “wife”, despite the fact he has been kicked out of her house a long time ago. And Hillary refers to Bill as her “husband”, despite the fact that Hillary knew Bill was sexually unhinged from the day she “married” Bill on Oct. 11, 1975.

I Found it Here